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Post by Chase McKinney-Jackson on Jul 14, 2012 0:47:53 GMT
Chase normally wasn't one for this type of thing. Normally he was the gentle one in the situation. He liked the slow kissing that meant something. He liked feeling like the other person loved him and to him that meant gentle. He loved laying in bed with someone, Brent, and tangling himself with him on their bed. Smiling as they kissed lazily.
This person right now wasn't Chase. He had lost his mind the second Brent told him he cheated. Chase had been taken over by someone that was desperate to feel love and that was never a good mindset to have when someone you love and are semi attracted to is by you. Maybe self consciously Chase knew that and hadn't gone to find Alex for a reason. Chase wasn't stopping himself when he did this. He should be, but he wasn't.
Chase knew that Alex liked it when he starting biting and holding his wrists. The legs that had wrapped around Chase's waist had told him that, but soon his legs fell and Alex seemed to be out of this. When he told Chase to stop, he did. His entire body froze and for the moment that he had after Alex told him to stop did he for once the entire night, think straight. "Fuck." Chase blurted out, still on top of Alex. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Chase didn't know what else say. He quickly rolled off Alex and in the bed next to him. This was wrong. It felt like poison in his mouth. He just made out with his best friend. "I'm sorry..." Chase murmured before getting up and going into the bathroom. He didn't bother to lock the door. He didn't care.
Chase went to the sick with the plan to brush his teeth. His mouth didn't taste like him and it didn't taste like Brent either. He didn't even get his toothbrush before he broke down. He held onto the counter for help because if he hadn't he would have dropped to the floor. He kept murmuring "I'm sorry." He couldn't help it. He had fucked up just as bad as Brent did now. His chest erupted with sobs and tears were flowing down his face. He just wanted Brent. He wanted this to be one horrible dream and he didn't want to have made out with Alex like that. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like himself, yet he knew he wasn't right now. The real Chase would never cheat on Brent no matter how fucked up in the head he was. This man wasn't him.
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Jul 14, 2012 5:37:49 GMT
 Oh Merlin, what had he done? Alex watched with widened, honey brown eyes as Chase came crashing back down to Earth as well before hastily tearing away from him and dashing to the bathroom. That left Alex alone with his thoughts. Probably not the best of ideas.
Alex sat up and pressed his back into the head board, tucking his knees under his chin and suddenly feeling rather small in the large bed. He still felt Chase everywhere. In his mouth, dancing on his lips, tingling his neck and just about all over his body. It just made the guilt feel all the more real. Chase had been hurting him. And Alex had actually enjoyed it before his throughts raced to Jackie. He had enjoyed it. Alex felt sick. That was what Jackie did - hurt him - he shouldn't of liked that. Had that twisted man really gotten so under Alex's skin? The young man felt as though he was going crazy.
The constricting pressure in his chest grew worst thinking about this. But he couldn't help himself but think how wrong it was to of just let Chase grab him by his wrists and just do whatever. What would of happened should Alex not of told him that he didn't want any more? Right now he didn't want to know. He probably knew the answer anyway.
And Reid? What about Reid? The squeezing sensation in his chest grew unbearable now, leaving him light-headed and queasy. He had a fiancé... he was meant to be getting married, not making out with friends. Alex bit his lip and tried to cover his face in shame with shaking hands. Reid wasn't going to want him after this, Alex was sure of it. And he wouldn't blame him either. Alex was a hypocrite of the purest form. He'd convinced himself that he would be incapable of cheating. And that was all that he had done: convince himself and live under the delusion that he, Alex, was perfectly able to tie himself to one person. For once.
Alex had wanted to change though. He had wanted to change for Reid. He wanted to forget all those unrequited feelings towards Chase and he thought that he had been doing a good job too. Chase, after all, had had years to do this. Why fucking now? Why mess with his head once he had everything mapped out for himself? It was fine for Chase and Brent, they'd get back together and look past this. Reid was different... Reid... probably wouldn't let this slide. And... Alex didn't want him to either. He needed to be taught a lesson for this.
Taught a lesson. Those was Jackie words echoing in his head. Alex was honestly going crazy. That man was messing with his mind too much. He was everywhere, even in forbidden kisses shared in the privacy of his friend's house. Alex didn't know what to do about him anymore. It wasn't like his friends could help any. Chase said he'd help but the man had cornered him in the park along with his friend. Alex then remembered something that made him go even paler.
"You have to go find Brent." Alex said, appearing at the bathroom door in a flash. He probably looked wrecked, his hair was messy, lips puffy, cheeks flushed from being smacked before, collared neck bitten, wrists bruised and grazed, and his ankles even worse. "Ja-Jackie... tonight... was going to punish me for poisoning his friend's pet... he-he... he didn't like it that I'd hurt Brent. Chase... he called Brent a pet." If Brent was going through even the tiniest bit of what Jackie was putting him through... Alex didn't know what he'd do. Chase wouldn't like that either. He had been angry with Brent but now... after what had just happened... they were both at fault. They'd be able to forget this. "I'm... you don't know how sorry I am... I should go."
Alex's eyes were teary but it wasn't like Chase was going to be able to see. The poor man was a puddle on his bathroom floor. Alex had caused this. He didn't want to be here. But where did he go? Not home. Either Reid or Jackie would be waiting for him there. Jackie again. His chest seized up so tightly Alex made a small choking noise and brought his hand up to his chest. It had been a while since Alex had suffered from anxiety. Now, over these past days with everything that had amounted, it had just been growing and growing.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;chasee! notes;;"let go of me" lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Chase McKinney-Jackson on Jul 15, 2012 2:20:28 GMT
Chase's breathing became rapid and soon it was hard to breathe in general. His chest felt extremely heavy and he wasn't sure what he was doing anymore. Soon Alex came in the doorway of the bathroom and told him to go find Brent. Chase couldn't do that. "I don't know where he is, Alex." Chase said but he was sure he would be somewhere that involved someone impartial. Someone that wouldn't tell him he was completely wrong like Alex or Reid would. Chase knew Brent. He also knew how mad he would be when he found out what happened.
"He's going to be so mad, Jay... So pissed off." Chase whispered it. He didn't think he had the power to say it with full strength. Not when his chest was rising and falling as fast as he was right now. When Alex said something about being a pet, his eyes widened and he looked at Alex standing in the doorway. "W-what?" Chase asked him. "Jackie's friend? Called Brent... pet?" Chase wanted to confirm what Alex had told him.
"You don't have to leave, Alex. I'm not mad or anything. It was my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you. And I'm sorry.... I'm really sorry." Chase told him, looking up at his best friend with pleading eyes. He wasn't sure how he would handle being left alone after he was heartbroken and fucked up the way he was.
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Jul 15, 2012 2:57:53 GMT
Alex hung his head in shame when Chase said how angry Brent was going to get. He knew he'd incurred his friend's wrath now. There was no way Brent was going to turn a blind eye on this. Sure, Chase and Brent, in a fucked up way, were even now. But that still left Alex. He was supposed to be their friend, someone trustworthy, not someone that made out with their fiancé in their bed. The queasy feeling in Alex's stomach turned into full blown nausea as he felt bile churn in his gut. In their fucking bed. How low could any one sink?
"Y-Yeah... he called him pet. I-I didn't give it much thought at the time 'cause... well... I had my own problems." Alex admitted in a small voice, tracing his toe absent-mindedly over the grouting between the sandy coloured tiles. "I was going to tell you as soon as I got here but... I-I..." He ended his sentence with a heavy, pained sigh, running a shaking hand through his hair, damp from both rain and perspiration. Alex wanted to tell Chase what had happened tonight, how he'd thought that he'd been running for his life at some points of the dash to Chase's house but... it was too late for that. Chase was in a whole new world of personal turmoil. Alex didn't need to worsen it.
"I shouldn't of let you kiss me. I don't... I don't want you in that way anymore, Chase." Alex had closed his eyes and was gently thumping his head backwards into the door, scolding himself for being so weak. "Fuck. I waited years for anything like this. And you pick now? I was... am past all that, all of you. I have... I have Reid now--" Alex's voice broke on a higher-pitched note. He took a few breaths to calm himself. He didn't want to cry. Not now. Not yet. There'd be all the time in the world for that later on once he was alone in his flat. His upset bubbled into a slight anger, more so directed towards himself.
"Who am I kidding? Reid's not going to want me when he finds out. Fuck. I wouldn't even want me. Fucked everything up, haven't I?" Alex scoffed, balling his hands up into fists and disappearing through the door to hunt for his clothes. "Fucking Brent's going to want to kill me. Jackie is going to kill me. Reid won't ever want to look at me again and... and you... we're not going to be so close. Are we? I guess it was nice while it fucking lasted, having people that cared. I wonder if Jackie'll do me a favour and make it quick." Alex was pissed off at himself, voicing his rant for his own ears. It was a terrible feeling being disappointed with yourself.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;chasee! notes;;"let go of me" lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Chase McKinney-Jackson on Jul 16, 2012 3:57:59 GMT
Chase didn't exactly know how to take the whole pet thing. He knew he was going to make sure Brent didn't leave his sight any time soon. Chase would protect him. Chase wouldn't let anything bad happen to Brent. Even if Chase wasn't entirely sure Brent would forgive him for what he had just done. As soon as the thought ran through his brain, Chase felt like throwing up. He hated the feeling of guilt in his brain.
"No, Alex. It wasn't your fault, and I'm going to tell Reid that. I'll... let him beat me up. I don't care. I'll make sure he knows it was all my fault. I know you don't feel that way... and it was wrong of me to kiss you. I'm... I'm just sorry." Chase rambled. He always did when he was nervous and he was nervous about what Brent was going to say. He didn't want Brent to yell at him. He wanted someone to take the fall for him. He knew that it was one hundred percent his fault though. No one else's. "We'll be close again. I promise. Maybe we should... back off for a week or something. Plus... Brent needs time to cool down. But he won't kill you. And Reid... he loves you. He'll forgive you. I promise, Jay. I'm sorry." Chase told him again. He couldn't believe what he just put Alex through by wanting to feel loved for ten minutes.
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Jul 16, 2012 19:36:43 GMT
"Chase... it was both our faults!" Alex said, his voice a note higher than usual. He wasn't even trying to hide the emotion in his voice. "You shouldn't of started, I should of stopped it.... sooner." He was gathering his clothes from the floor, trying not to look at the bed. He feared that if he did he'd pass out from sheer shame. He bustled over to Chase and thrust him his wand before holding out his clothes. He needed them to be cleaned. So he could go.
"C-Clean these... I am not... I can't wear... those." Alex gestured with his thumb over his shoulder at the small pile of Brent-clothes Chase had prepared for him. It'd be the icing on the sickening cake to wear Chase's fiancé's clothes after making out with him in their bed.
Alex's heart dropped into his stomach when Chase suggested taking a week apart from one another, just until things settled down. Alex fully understood but... Chase was meant to be looking after him? Keeping him safe from Jackie? That man was craving his blood by now. Alex didn't have a wand. He couldn't go to Reid. Couldn't go to Brent. And now... he couldn't go to Chase either. Panic set in again. What the fuck was he going to do? Where the fuck was he going to go?
"I-I... Chase..." The words "I need you" got caught in his throat and lost along the way, surfacing only a feeble gurgle of noise instead. Alex swallowed and closed his eyes, "Clean my clothes, heal my wrists and ankles, get rid of the hickeys on my neck. I'm going." But not to Reid. He was going to go to some hotel. It wasn't like he could go to Gemma's either. She was a squib. She was as powerless as he was, and it wasn't like he was going to get her tangled in this mess. "I-I'll talk to Reid... later...I-I can't see him. Not yet." Maybe Jackie would kill him before he got the chance. He didn't know which he preferred. Seeing Reid's face of disappointment and then anger, or Jackie ending all this.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;chasee! notes;;"let go of me" lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Chase McKinney-Jackson on Jul 17, 2012 19:11:08 GMT
Chase still didn't think it was much of Alex's fault, but he also didn't really feel like arguing with him. He caught his wand when Alex tossed it to him and looked up at him with a confused expression. "Why can't you just wear Brent's clothes... it's not like he would even miss them, Jay." Chase didn't understand, but he was sure it was something in Alex's brain that thought wearing the clothes were bad. Chase didn't have the energy to argue.
Chase saw Alex kind of... drop when he suggest a week apart. He didn't mean for it to be a bad thing. Just something that should probably happen. "I'm always here if you need me, though. Okay, Jay? I promise. I'm always here." Chase told him honestly. It wasn't like he was going to stop being Alex's friend. So they had made out. Friends did that... right? Okay... well maybe not engaged ones.
"Alright.. fine." Chase said before pointing his wand at the clothes and flicking them once. It cleaned them instantly. Chase moved to Alex and healed the hickies on his neck that Chase vaguely remembered causing. Finally he healed Alex's wrists and ankles. Although Chase was pretty positive he hadn't caused those. Chase dropped his wand on the bathroom floor next to him and brought his knees to his chest again. It was like his chest was one big hole.
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Jul 19, 2012 14:50:40 GMT
Alex didn't really expect Chase to understand why he didn't want to wear Brent's clothes, even if he should. He'd just made out with Brent's fiancé, in Brent's bed that he shared with him. Alex felt as though it'd be rubbing salt if he then wore his clothes. But he kept quiet, he wanted to forget this had even happened.
What if I need you right now? Alex thought sadly, slipping on his clothes now that they were dry and clean. But Chase was maybe just saying it because it was the friendly thing to do. He probably didn't mean it deep down.
"I came here because I needed you. And look what's happened." Alex sighed, buttoning up his shirt with shaking hands. "So I better just go. You have plenty to worry about as it is. Its about time for me to just look after myself for once." Even if that was venturing out into the world, wandless, and finding some place Jackie wouldn't find him.
Alex went to leave the bathroom but lingered by the doorframe for a moment. He looked back at Chase sat curled up. His heart ached. What if this was the last time he ever saw him? Alex didn't want to go like this. The young man squatted down by Chase and pulled him into a hug, holding him close to his chest and burying his face into his neck and hair. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't. Couldn't.
"Y-You make up with Brent, 'kay?" Alex said, battling to keep his voice straight and stop words from choking in his throat. "I still l-love you." He pushed himself away and headed straight for the door, not looking back this time. He was sure he wouldn't be able to stop the tears this time.
Alex had no money on him but at least the rain had stopped. He planned to walk to the main part of the country road. It was early. Farmers would be in their trucks, tractors, cars and starting their day. He would be able to hitch a lift. Then get a taxi and get money from his house. That was the part that scared him the most. Just in case Jackie was there. Hopefully he'd get lucky and be able to get money for a hotel without trouble.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;chasee! notes;;"let go of me" lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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