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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 6, 2012 20:33:30 GMT
Alex had been putting if off too long and he knew it. The young man sat crossed-legged in the middle of the bed in Chase and Brent's guest room, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and twisting the ring on his finger. It felt heavy. A constant reminder to him that Reid didn't deserve any of this. He'd owled the man because... they really needed to talk. It was long overdue.
"Fuck..." Alex muttered into his hands. How the hell was he meant to tell Reid everything? It was fucking everything. He didn't know if he wanted to tell him about Jackie... he had a right to know but... Alex gritted his teeth as a burning lump rose in his throat. Maybe after telling Reid about what had happened between him and Chase... the man would storm out before he had a chance.
Alex paled on hearing a knock on the door. Funny how a small noise of knuckles on polished wood filled him with unfathomable dread, making the bed seem giant and endless around him. He couldn't help but wish he'd honestly shrink into the covers, too small for Reid to find him. But no, that would be putting off this talk again. So Alex swallowed and, with a uncertain and almost hoarse voice, said a simple:
"Come in..."
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Reid Rutherford on Aug 6, 2012 20:57:41 GMT
Reid was excited to see Alex, even if he was a bit confused. A few days ago he had received a letter from Alex saying that he was staying with Chase and Brent for a few days. It was odd because ever since Reid had moved in Alex his boyfriend had loved to come home to spend more time with him. The letter had been random but he just assumed Chase had 'kidnapped' his best friend, which wasn't unheard of.
Reid arrived at Brent and Chase's with a smile on his face. He had missed his Spanish love. With a quick wave and hello to his friends he went to the guest room where he knew his lover to be. He knocked and waited for permission to enter. When he heard the 'come in' he entered. "Hey you. I've missed you these last few days." He walked over to the bed and gave Alex a quick kiss. "How are you love?"
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 6, 2012 21:13:15 GMT
I've missed you... Alex's heart felt like it was being stabbed with a serrated blade with every word his boyfriend said. It was torture. Reid was going to hate him, he knew he was. And Alex would deserve it, despite what had happened with him and Jackie. Reid didn't deserve someone like Alex. The young man felt a part of him crumble inside when Reid pressed his lips against his. Would this be the last one?
"Nene..." Alex began, crossing his legs a little tighter and playing with a fraying seam on the bottom of his tank shirt. "You love me, right? Tell me you do... por favor." He wanted to hear it one more time on Reid's lips. "I... 'cause I gotta tell you something..." Alex said almost in a whisper, twisting the engagement ring on his finger once again from nerves.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Reid Rutherford on Aug 6, 2012 21:40:46 GMT
Reid didn't like this, he didn't like it at all. The way his fiancé was acting, it scared him. Why would he practically beg him to tell him how much he loved him. If he wanted to say all this whatever Alex wanted to tell him was serious. Reid promised himself that he would listen to everything his love had to say before he reacted.
He lifted Alex's chin, forcing him to look at him. "Alex Torres I love you more than I ever thought possible." He gave Alex a deep, passionate kiss, hoping he saw the truth in his words. "What is it that you need to tell me?"
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 6, 2012 21:54:07 GMT
Hearing Reid say he loved him, even though it was something he'd wanted to hear at least for the last time, made him feel terrible. He was a horrid boyfriend. But he savoured the unique taste of the loving kiss, trying to memorize the feel of Reid's lips, even if he knew them well already. Alex closed his eyes, he didn't want to witness the moment when he disappointed his boyfriend. It supposed it was time for the truth.
"I-I'm just... so sorry, nene." Alex whispered in a scratched voice, the lump rising uncomfortably in his throat again. "I-I don't even know how it happened... Chase... I-I... I-I kissed him!" And very hungrily at that. It had been a dirty kiss, loveless and just made from pointless lust. Hadn't Alex of stopped it... he dreaded to think where it would've ended.
"A-And there's this man... Jackie." Alex practically squeaked his name out and buried his face in his hands. He didn't know how to explain what had happened to Reid. He had no fucking idea. "He... He... Reid, I didn't do anything to make him do it... I swear! He wouldn't leave me alone! And... he hurt me. Bad." Beat to a bloodied mess and sexually abused? How what he meant to tell Reid that? Alex couldn't.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Reid Rutherford on Aug 7, 2012 3:49:13 GMT
Reid wanted to scream, cry, run away, hug...so many emotions all at once. He was so confused and hurt that Alex would cheat on him. The fact that it was Chase made it even worse. His best friend betrayed him. His best friend! The love of his life kissed someone who had been his best friend for so long.
Then there were the feelings that revolved around some idiot hurting Alex. He needed Alex to explain more but if this guy hurt him in any way, he would be sorry. If he dared touch Alex sexually...he was a dead man.
He pulled his hair. "Gah!!!" He didn't know what to do. He realized that he needed all the information before he reacted. He got up from the bed and walked over to the window. He crossed his arms and stared out the window. He spoke to Alex but didn't look at him. "I have warring emotions right now. I need to know everything, Alex, everything.
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 7, 2012 4:23:33 GMT
Alex flinched when Reid suddenly made a noise before storming over to the window. He wanted details? The spaniard's stomach dropped uncomfortable and he stared down at his hands. He really didn't want to... but he had to. Reid had to know everything. And everything included... well, everything.
"I-I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry." Alex began, speaking in a quiet voice, fearing an outburst and masking all the emotions that threatened to voice themselves in his words. "This guy, J-Jackie... I knew him back when we were teens and he came back. He was obsessed over me or something." Fuck, it was hard finally talking about this. Alex's throat burned as if the words were thickly coated in corrosive acid.
"He broke into the apartment one night. He was saying all this shit about, I dunno, that he was the only one that cared or something. Then I "misbehaved" and he beat the shit out of me." First encounter with Jackie. "Another night I was walking home from St. Mungo's because he stole my wand and he cornered me with a friend of his. They took me to his hotel suite. And... f-fuck... they tied me up, nene..." Alex was beginning to get panicky recalling all this, his pitch of his voice climbing the more he talked. "He-He was going to c-cut me... and do things... but I managed to get away. I went straight to Chase's! I-I needed to talk to someone but... I didn't want to tell you because, fuck, I didn't want to hurt you." Oh the irony. Didn't want to hurt Reid but ended up hurting him even more. "I just needed someone to hold me, tell me it was alright. Chase was a mess too, Brent had cheated on him." Oops, maybe he wasn't meant to say that. Oh well. "I-I don't even know how it happened. Suddenly we were kissing but... nene... I stopped it. Before it got worse."
Sure, Alex had stopped it before it got worse, but what happened next was even worse. If Alex had a choice, he would've picked consensual sex with Chase over what Jackie did to him that night. The young man began to shake his head furiously, images and memories plaguing him. He gritted his teeth and breathed noisily, crying and hiding his face in the blanket, ashamed.
"Jackie found me... I-I told him no... I-I told him to stop." Alex stammered, whole body shaking like a leaf. Reid wasn't going to want him. "He-he wouldn't li-listen, nene. And he... he... he--nene, I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry! So very fucking sorry!"
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Reid Rutherford on Aug 7, 2012 4:46:03 GMT
It was so hard for Reid to hear all this from Alex. He was still hurt by what happened but he couldn't stand the way his love looked and sounded. He sighed and went over to the bed. He sat on the bed next to Alex and pulled him close. He may want to yell and scream, but seeing Alex all...well broken, broke his heart. "Sh. Baby, sh." He kissed Alex's head. He hoped that Alex could tell that he still loved him and that he still wanted him, even if he was hurt my his actions with Chase.
He sighed. Alex dropped the sentence and started to apologize. It made him sick to think of the reasons he could have done that. He needed to know how it ended. He knew it might hurt Alex to do it but he needed to know the full story. "Alex, did this Jackie guy...did he touch you sexually? I'll kill him if he did, though I'm on my way to that as it is." He knew they were in for a hard conversation. Between everything that happened...the trust Alex had lost with him might be the least of their worries.
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 7, 2012 4:59:08 GMT
Alex let himself go when Reid moved onto the bed and held him. He'd desperately needed this. Alex clutched the front of the other man's shirt in bunched up fists, clenching so tightly his knuckles turned white. He didn't feel ashamed in noisily sobbing into Reid. Any pride he had, had been stolen from him by that vile piece of work that disguised itself under the name Jackie Piazza.
"...Did he touch you sexually?" Alex nodded his head slowly, pressing his face into Reid for strength before daring himself to talk. "It... wasn't just... t-touching." The young man gritted out, whole body succumbing to spasms as he forced down wails that badly wished to tear from his throat. "He... Díos... don't m-make me say it out loud, ne-nene... p-por favor." Alex wanted Jackie to get hurt. He deserved it. He wanted Reid to kill him, he honestly did. Never had he thought that he'd wish such ill on someone before but this monster was one big fucking exception.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Reid Rutherford on Aug 8, 2012 3:21:17 GMT
Reid's heart sank the more Alex talked. His fiancé didn't need to say it as his lack of words said it all. His love had been raped. He had never wanted to hurt or kill someone as much as he did now. He held Alex even closer if it was possible. "Oh love. You don't have to say it love." He kissed Alex's temple.
He sat there thinking about how much Alex had gone through. It was a lot to be stalked, kidnapped then rapped by someone. It was horrible what he had to go through, it really was.
Reid didn't think he could completely overlook the kiss though. He should have come home to Reid, not go to Chase and do something that he would regret. He sighed. "Alex, babe, I have warring emotions right now. While I can't believe you went through all that, I am hurt not only by the kiss but by the fact that you didn't come to me right away. You claim to love me with all your heart but yet you can't come to me when something bad happens. I just...I don't know."
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 9, 2012 0:10:08 GMT
Only a kiss on the temple? Where were the huge hugs? Kisses all over his face? And scary in-depth stories of what he was going to do to Jackie? Alex looked up at Reid with eyes that threatened to leak endless streams of tears. He cared more about the kiss between him and Chase? The young man quickly looked down at his lap and sucked in breath so sharply it made a squeak noise.
"I-I... understand." Alex forced himself to say. He only partly understood from where Reid was coming from though. It was only a kiss. For Alex everything was just about Reid and Reid alone. He'd just... made a mistake. A big fucking mistake. But... hadn't he paid a heavy enough price for it? He'd only been beat up and had all his pride stolen from him. Only that.
"I just... never wanted to hurt you." Alex whispered, his voice thick with all the emotion that battled to release itself. "I thought... I could handle J-J... that man. I'm not a kid anymore. I-I thought I'd be able... to handle it. And everything got out of control and... I was just so... lost that night. I wasn't thinking." Because if he had been thinking, all he would've seen was Reid's face. The disappointment in it. He'd have seen all he was seeing right now. Alex twisted the engagement ring on his finger sadly. "What do you want to do, nene?"
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Reid Rutherford on Aug 9, 2012 1:32:18 GMT
Reid sighed. He knew that Alex was probably not in the right place after everything happened. It still hurt that he couldn't come to him. "I could have helped you Jay. I could have been there for you. I get that you couldn't deal with it yourself but why Chase? Why not me?" He sighed again. "It hurts. I feel hurt."
He thought about the kiss. Really he could look past it now that he knew everything that happened before and after it. He planned on having a long talk about this all with Chase. Maybe that's what he would do before he left. "I, babe I can look past the kiss. I'm not happy about it and I think we should take some more time before we get married, but I can look past it. I understand that you were not yourself. I don't think I would be after all that either. You being you probably just let out all your built up emotions at the first person you could. I don't know. Either way, I can forgive you. It will take a bit for you to gain the lost trust back, but it's possible."
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 9, 2012 10:08:36 GMT
Take some more time before getting married? Alex felt something in his chest begin to ache painfully. Reid was suggesting they postponed their wedding... wasn't he? He knew this was inevitable. He knew that Reid wouldn't be able to continue as if nothing had happened. But it still hurt, even if he had been trying to prepare himself for the worst.
"If... that's what you need, time, I'll give it you." Alex didn't bother masking the misery and disappointment in his voice. He felt absolutely crushed. Reid no longer trusted him, even if Alex didn't blame him. He'd given him his best and still he had ruined it. The other wizard had no idea just how much Alex regretted his actions. He'd managed to cause a world of pain to everyone involved with him; Chase, Brent and Reid. The only person that seemed to escape unscathed was Jackie.
"But you still love me, right? ...Like I love you?" Alex asked, tugging the blankets around him tighter. He'd bunched the edges of the covers in his hands, fidgeting with them to just keep his hands occupied. Never had the urge to reach out to touch Reid been so great. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair, gently brush his cheek, place a little kiss where his collarbone dipped just before disappearing into his shirt. Alex just wanted to be close to Reid again, and for everything to be back to how they were before.
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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Post by Reid Rutherford on Aug 9, 2012 16:24:46 GMT
Reid sighed. This really sucked. This was so hard for him to do but they weren't ready for marriage. Reid had thought they were rushing a bit by getting married so soon after the engagement. This just proved he was right. "Jay, I just both think we need time. I need time to trust you again. You need time to get through all this. I mean love you were rapped. No one expects you to move past it like it was nothing, I sure as hell don't. Please don't think I ignored that and focused on the kiss cause I didn't. I want to kill the bastard who dared touch you. When I find him, and trust me I will find him, he is going to wish he never even laid eyes on you."
Reid was shocked. How could he think Reid didnt love him. That was, well impossible. "Baby how can you think I don't love you? I love you so much. If I didn't I wouldn't be hurt by one little kiss. If I didn't love you I wouldn't want to kill a man right now." Reid picked up Alex's left hand. He kissed the ring he put on Alex's finger not long ago. "If I didn't love you I wouldn't have put this ring on your finger."
He held Alex's hand and pushed Alex's hair behind his ear before tilting his lover's chin up. He looked him in the eye and saw all the emotions Alex was feeling. It wasn't a pretty picture but he knew the man still loved him, that's all that matter to Reid. "We just need some time love. We will still get married, just not with Chase and Brent. Now I think it's time you come home. It's my turn to take care of you."
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Post by Alexander Jay García Torres on Aug 9, 2012 20:19:34 GMT
How had Alex been so stupid as to not have told Reid about any of this before? Everything probably would have had a different outcome, a more desirable one. If he'd just swallowed his pride and admitted that he was way out of his depth with the Jackie business, maybe Reid would have been able to do something, even if it was just staying there with Alex. But what had happened, had happened, and instead Reid was here helping to pick up the pieces.
"I just... I don't know. I didn't mean to doubt, honest. I was actually scared... that, y'know..." Alex looked down at the finger Reid had just kissed, knowing he'd been an idiot with him. "...that you'd be too disappointed to want me still. I never meant anything, nene." The young man lifted his hand to place it on top of Reid's when he tilted his head at an angle, so he was forced to look at him full on in the face. Alex scooted forward on the bed so he was almost practically sitting on him.
Knowing they'd eventually get married reassured him. It'd happen when they were ready, both of them. Alex couldn't help but feel an awful sense of disappointment and failure in not being able to give Reid a perfect partner, but he'd have plenty of time to make up for that, and regain his trust, because Alex knew that he was never ever going to risk what they had again. It was too special to risk. Alex sighed and closed his eyes, feeling more relaxed than he had done in days as a heavy burden was lifted from his shoulders. He wanted to go home.
"Yeah... I'd like that." Alex mumbled into Reid's hand, turning slightly to press a light kiss in the palm of his hand. "I've missed you so much... you wouldn't believe."
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outfit;; clicky! tagged;;reid! notes;; listening to this song, it seems perfect, haha lyrics;; screaming bloody murder by sum41!
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